At OCR Academy, one of the most powerful lessons we teach our team is drawn from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements: “Don’t take anything personally.”
At first glance, that sounds simple. But it’s incredibly hard to do — especially when we care deeply about our work, our community, and the impact we’re trying to make.
When someone says something critical, like “you didn’t work hard enough”, it’s natural to feel defensive. Our instinct is to fight back, to prove ourselves right. But here’s the truth: it’s not about being right. It’s about knowing what’s true.
And only you can know what’s true for you.
Did you give your best effort?
Could you have asked for help?
Did you seek clarity when things felt unclear?
If the answer is yes — then you can stand tall in that truth. If the answer is no — that’s not a failure. That’s feedback. And with forgiveness, it becomes growth.
For example: There was a time I had to pull aside a staff member after a class. I let them know the session didn’t meet our standards — the energy was low, the setup wasn’t ready on time, and the transitions felt clunky. It was hard to bring it up because I knew how much they cared. I saw their reaction — the drop in their shoulders, the quick “I was doing my best.” And maybe they were.
But I asked them not to take it personally. Instead, I encouraged them to ask themselves: Was I really prepared? Could I have asked someone for support ahead of time? Did I bring the energy the class needed?
That small shift turned a hard conversation into a powerful moment of growth. Not because they were wrong, but because they were willing to reflect honestly, forgive themselves, and move forward stronger.
Taking things personally gives someone else power over your reality. It means you’ve decided that what they said must be true, even when it might not be. But no two people can both be right when they see things differently. One person’s perception is never the full story. That’s why the goal isn’t to be right, it’s to live in your own integrity, your own truth.
At OCR Academy, we hold ourselves to a high standard. But when feedback comes, we don’t want people to fight back. We want them to fight forward.
Fighting back is ego-driven — it’s about proving something. Fighting forward is soul-driven — it’s about becoming something. And we do that through forgiveness.
Forgive others for how they deliver their message. Forgive yourself if you didn’t show up the way you wanted to. And then get curious, take ownership, and move forward with clarity and courage.
Remember: It’s not about being right. It’s about what’s true. And what’s true is that your best will always be enough — especially when you keep learning how to make your best even better.
